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I Don't Deserve This


I don’t deserve this!

Years ago, I would find myself thinking those very words; I don’t deserve this.  Times would get tough, some ill act would fall upon me, I’d stub my toe, I’d bounce a check in a game of ‘beat the bank’, and I would think “I don’t deserve this.”

I took some time to think about the things in my life that I don’t deserve, and the list surprised me.  Every hour of every day of every year, of my entire life, there is so much that I don’t deserve, but I get it anyway. I truly, don’t deserve this.

I was born in the United States of America.  I’ve never known suffering, not once have I struggled to survive, never have I gone without.  Twice in my professional career, I’ve lost my job.  Not once did my family or I starve, not have clothing on our backs, or shelter over our heads.  I don’t deserve this.

I wasn’t a bad child growing up, but neither was I a great child.  I, at times, showed disrespect to my parents, lied, didn’t listen, had temper tantrums, and rarely thanked mom and dad for all they had given me.  Now, I find myself blessed with two children of my own.  Father of the year, I am not.  But they love me anyway.  I don’t deserve this.

There are two – maybe three – times when my wife and I should have said “That’s it; we’re done” and walked away.  We didn’t.  By grace alone, we are still together and our marriage is stronger than ever!  I don’t deserve this.

Each and every day I’m awake, I sin against God.  I fail to keep His commandments, I step aside of His word, and I’ve even rejected Him on more than one occasion.  I live a horrible, sin-filled life, but by His grace and His grace alone, He loves me anyway.  I am, and always will be, a child of God.  I don’t deserve this.

Friends, as we approach this hallowed Christmas day, I urge you to take an inventory of all the blessings in your life and realize you don’t deserve this.

God Bless,

Bob Wood

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